I want to be sure

 

Oh, the nights I have wasted

Caught up in my head

When I could be sleeping

And dreaming instead

The hours I’ve spent

Wishing I could be thinner

And picking apart

What I’d see in the mirror

The days I have lost

To my stubborn self-doubt

The time it has cost me

To count myself out

The moments I’ve missed

Wishing I could be more

Then hating myself

Every time I fell short

The seconds I’ve squandered

As time ticked on by

Whilst I tried to reach

For a bar set too high

But that’s in the past -

Time spent worrying, wishing,

The dark, sleepless nights

And the things I was missing

Cause all of those hours

And days are now gone;

No time to look back

Only time to move on

To more time for sleeping

And more time for dreams

Less time to tear myself

Apart at the seams

Less time for mirrors

And less time for hate

Less doubting myself

Whilst I’m lying awake

More time to limbo

The bar that I set

More moments for stubborn

Self-love and respect

‘Cause time marches on

It will never stand still

And I don’t want all of

My days to be filled

With wanting and worry,

With dread and with doubt

No, I want to be sure

I’ve made

each

moment

count

*****

Becky Hemsley 2023

Artwork by Gisele Oliveira F (gisifraga on Instagram)

This poem is from Words to Remember

Source: Becky Hemsley Poetry on Facebook