Humans of New York

Artwork: Marcos Montes Duque

“This might be the first conversation I’ve had in years that lasted more than five minutes. There’s a woman in the grocery store, at the checkout stand, that I see once a month. She’s very nice and very kind. I always look forward to seeing her. We’ll have a two, or three minute conversation. That’s probably the person I talk to the most. I’m retired, and I live alone.  I read somewhere that the average lifespan of a New Yorker is 75. And I’m 74. So I’m constantly hearing the ‘tick, tick, tick.’ At home I have this whole movie memorabilia collection on my walls. Posters from the forties: Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, Judy Garland. All the female actresses that appealed to the gay men of my time. Who is there to give it to? I’d hate for somebody to just throw it away when I’m gone. I probably shouldn’t care, but I do care. It’s little things like that. Little things that creep into my head about death, and dying, and what’s going to happen. Tick, tick, tick. But when I’m out on the street with my camera, I get away from all that. I get away from myself. It all becomes about observance. And I find that it’s much easier to be alone when I’m among people. The distance makes it comfortable for me. I find it’s easier to relate to people when it’s not intimate. Normally I’ll choose solitary people to photograph. Sometimes I’ll approach them. But more times than not, I’ll shoot uninvited. But even when I don’t ask permission—I feel closer to that person. When I get a photo that I really like, I’ll post it to my Flickr account. Every once in awhile people will leave a comment. And that’s icing on the cake. That also feels like a connection in some way. And I need that. I need a connection of some sort for me to feel human. For me to not feel like I’m just in my own head all the time. For me to feel like I’m somehow part of the world.”  

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You can find Lawrence's Flickr Account here: https://bit.ly/lawrenceflickr

I have been following Humans of New York for a long time on Facebook and sometimes their posts seem to mirror my thoughts. This is one of those times.

Someone commented: "Much of the self isolation is habit, I find, and that seems normal and comfortable. But we need others and new experiences. You seem to have much to offer in friendship."

That comment is deeply thoughtful in my opinion because she is correct, it is a habit and easy to fall back into our agoraphic tendencies when we spend too much time alone!